Birthday Bash

So it was my Birthday yesterday.

In May I had gotten a new appointment/calendar book for school and while writing in birthdays of friends and family members I wrote in on my birthday "HOLY WORSHIP BROWNWYN DAY". Greg found that while going through my date book. He thought it was funny I guess. And told a couple of people. It turned out that Friday was the 13th of October and that is just too cool. So Greg and I planned to go out with a bunch of friends. First we went to dinner with his parents at Montezuma’s and of course they had the waiters sing to me while I wore a sombrero.(funny as anything) I have a picture of it on my phone but cannot for the life of me figure out how to get it off of there. Greg and I ate so much that we had to take a nap before we went out...only the nap turned into the next morning. We totally slept through everything.
So Saturday we woke up in time to do a little house cleaning. Of course, I was nervous, my parents were coming into to town, Dad had never seen the house and I wanted it to look nice. Since Greg had bought this house 3 years ago he has done a lot of work on it. And right now, they almost have the downstairs bathroom all done. Very exciting. Too, my parents were meeting his parents. That's something that can make you go a tad crazy. Eventually, my parents showed up w/ decorations in hand. My mom brought pumpkins and all this cool fall stuff to decorate the house with. She brought mums...from Donnie and Kristen's Wedding Reception. She brought birthday cakes and balloons...god it was so fun. Dad brought steaks from the farm. YUM YUM!

So off to RED LOBSTER (my favorite place in the world to eat) we go for lunch and to meet the parents. It was amazing. Everything turned out great. And we even got out meal for free, b/c my salmon was not cooked all the way through, and I had to send it back. WOWS...talk about getting my luck back!!!!
We went back to our house and had cake and chatted for awhile. Mom and dad went home and Greg and I went to the movies. We went to see 'Man of the Year'. Which was really cool and quite funny. We had planned on going out with friends later since we had missed it the night before. But both of us fell asleep AGAIN. But I did manage to wake up at 1:19am....MY BRITHDAY! to open presents. My actual birthday was pretty low key, we went to visit Greg's grandfather who was in the hospital down in York, and stopped by at the mall while we were down there. We ordered chinese last night and started in on work for today. But all in all....it was a pretty sweet birthday. Onc of my presents is still MIA....Greg said it's coming in the mail....hmmm.,...we'll have to see.i love him. Every part of him. And I am so thankful that we have found us. and we are back to this place where we are ourselves.

Velvet Elvis

'I'm learning that very few people actually live from their heart. Very few people live connected with their soul. And those few who do the difficult work, who stare their junk in the face, who get counsel, who let people into their soul that no one ever goes in, they make a difference. They are so different; they're coming from such a different place that their voices inevitably get heard above the others. They are pursuing wholeness and shalom, and it's contagious. They inspire me to keep going.'

This was taken from this book I read this weekend. For my "Assessing Individuals" class, I was supposed to pick up a self-help book. It was something our professor thought would be good for us. He said that there were many crappy self-help books out there, so we should find one and get it, read it, and tell the class what you think. GREAT! Not only do I have to find an other book to read, but I also have to get up in front of the class and tell them about it. Luckily, since Friday I have lost my fear of speaking in front of people. Who knows why? However, anyways, back to the book I bought this weekend. It's called "VELVET ELVIS" and was written by Rob Bell. At the time, I didn't know really, what it was, I just picked it up and it said something about repainting the Christian Faith. I thought, Oh well it might be interesting. You know there are certain times in your when everything and I mean everything is perfectly in the right placeand it's only a moment. Well, that night at the bookstore was my moment where it seemed like i was there for a reason, looking at the wrong section for a reason! I found this amazing book. This person talks about God, the bible, the soul, healing our souls, being made new, worship, moving forward, what is good, who we are. It was amazing. I read it in like 4 hours. Therefore, the book that I had to get for Assessing Individuals.assessed me. I am in a great field. One that I am happy to be in. I am learning more about myself than I ever thought possible.

Thoughts

After we die, do we ponder our lives as if they were dreams from which we have just awakened? Or do we forget them as quickly as we once forgot our dreams? What happens if we don't show up for an important dream? Is that like not showing up for an important class? And when we die, what then? Do we stop dreaming? Or do we make guest appearances in other dreams? Does God blame me for laughing when I should have been crying; for wanting to kiss a boy and live forever; for hoping I could find happiness by some well-traveled route? Apparently, we know that I will never stop questioning some of the oddest things. But these are the questions that haunt me, that keep me awake at night. No, I don't know how to stop them. Sometimes I even thinks its healthy. I am not worried about any of these things, I just question them like I question why I feel, or sing or even run.
I leave you with this last poem:
A cloudy, dreary day, sick with a cold, yet I want to mark the say, the year, to settle old accounts and begin something anew. It is what I am always up to, and I see how foolish it is, and how necessary. I can no more draw a line between yesterday and today than I can continue without one. The weight of the days is too great. The spirit needs to release. And so, a new year, a new longing no, rather the oldest to be different, to be better. I yearn for the end of attachment, and, with barely a pause, I am already dreaming of a more beautiful body, a more elegant mind, a self better able to receive, and give love. I ignore the only wisdom of my years: that I need only accept myself. And I forget that time is but one eternal moment in which we are created, in the timeless mind of God.

Raw

From the very first moment of my life that I can remember I have always wanted to be different. It wasnt enough for me to just be who I was, i needed to be different. I needed to shock people, to be bold, to run against the crowd. I needed to have bright hot pink hair, and pierce things, get tattoos. I needed to think liberal, dare to test and doubt God, find faith in something other than what had been drilled into my head. I needed to run away, and get lost in something. I needed to find happiness in material things. I needed to fall many times. I needed to make mistakes; cut people I love out of my life, and remove myself from all that I ever knew. I needed to blame my parents. I needed to cut myself, until I bled, in anger. I needed to starve myself of everything that is good. I needed to hate myself for a moment. I needed to be bitter and offer no forgiveness to myself or others. I needed to be angry for awhile. I needed to be different. I asked to be different. I didnt want to be like everyone else. I wanted something in my life to set me apart from everyone else. I needed to get into trouble. I needed to standout in the worst possible way, because where and what I come from, you are expected to get it right. I needed to hurt myself. I needed to feel pain. I needed to find myself, who ever that was, in my own time. Today, I find myself tired but a little better off. I am not perfect. I dont deserve some of the wonderful that have happened in my life. I need to be different. And I am. I am different because I have faith in someone and something that is bigger than me. Im working on forgiveness. Its a hard one. Most times its something you got to keep doing or asking for, day after day. Because we are human, we will make mistakes. The more real we are with that, the more realness we will get out of our life and what we are suppose to do with it. I want to be someone who has the courage to step out and speak out. I have put myself out there, I have decided to be me and show you that I havent had the perfect life that everyone assumes, that I made mistakes, but that I also changed. Im different. But there are some mistakes I know I will never allow myself to make.
Change comes around when people like you challenge people like me.

Something

Today, while at work I was putting all my CDs on my computer so that i could eventually get them to my IPOD. I realized soon that I had over 100 CDs that covered a ten year span. As I listened to some of them, they brought back memories of a different time in my life. It is such an amazing thing that our brains, thoughts, memories were built in such a way that some songs, smells, tastes can bring such joy or sorrow. A couple of songs actually made me cry because it took me back to a time that things were so much better than what they are now. This all lead to me thinking about the past, realizing ALL the lessons I have learned over the years. And I thought that I really shouldnt keep them to myself. That if I can help someone else from making a similar mistake, even if by chance they are just glancing at this. I am a believer that we can learn from others mistakes

So here are a few lessons I have learned along the way
1. Believe in God and Prayer- it really does work.
2. Learn the rules then break some of them.
3. Trust yourself
4. Love and take time for your family-youll regret it if you dont when they are gone.
5. Learn to read between the lines.
6. Dont take life too seriously.
7. Play in the rain at least once as an adult.
8. Memorize your favorite poem.
9. Believe in love at first sight.
10. Dont trust anyone who kisses with their eyes open. (thats just not right)
11. Live by yourself, even if its for a month, before you settle down with anyone. If you dont, youll always wonder.
12. Never let someone else control your thoughts or your life.
13. When you love someone, love them for who they are, not the potential they have to be someone else.
14. Learn that its ok to be wrong. Its ok to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them.
15. Always forgive no matter how hard it may seem. Its worse to carry around a grudge.
16. Tell your parents you love them a lot. Who knows how long you will have them around.
17. Be a good friend to your friends.
18. Know that life really isnt fair, no matter what you think. Nothing will change that.
19. When meeting new people, be interested in them. Do not try to make them interested in you.
20. Like yourself.
21. Dont ever be afraid to try something new. It stretches your brain.
22. When traveling the road of life, try to stop along the way and really smell the flowers.
23. Be passionate about something (art, cars, God, basketball, soccer)
24. Always try to be yourself. (this sometimes doesnt always work, but we still have to try)
25. Above all this be real. No one likes a fake.