Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it OK
Theres always some reason to feel not good enough
And its hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe Ill find some peace tonight
In the arms of the Angel far away from here. From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie. Youre in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here.
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
Theres vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It dont make no difference, escaping one last time
Its easier to believe, in this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness, that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an ANGEL!
Is this what we do...wait for our second chance.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Thanksgiving
What are you thankful for this thanksgiving?
I will tell you that before this weekend thanksgiving were just another holiday that was all about food and that in the years past I have been glad when it was all over. Well, this year was different. This year I spent thanksgiving with a whole lot of my family. Family that does not get together usually except for Christmas and a Fourth of July party. I can't remember how many exactly there was, I think possibly 32 of us. My mom cooked a giant size meal. At first I was really dreading having to be with my family. I love them to death, but since my grandfather's death I really have a hard time being around them all and frankly, it makes me sad when I know he won't be there.
But it was amazing. I had decided to do something different and I had everyone fill out a piece of paper with something or many things that they are thankful for. When they were done, we put it inside of a box, and mixed it up then went around the room and picked one out to read. We all went around the room and each said what the letter wrote. As I said, It was amazing. My family, they are one of a kind. They are irreplaceable and are missed deeply when they are gone.
Therefore, what am I thankful for this year:
Family
Love
Friends
Shoulders to cry on Health
Times with Pappa
Kindness
Kingston
New members of the family
Time
New Beginnings
Good Times
The memories of the past; the hope for the Future
Paved roads, dirt roads, uneven roads, and ruts- for they make you what you are
Blue skys snowflakes unexpected phone calls hugs and Kisses from Nellie and Bridget
I love yous from my DAD
Never ending support from my mom
The will to forget, the strength to move on, and the stamina to keep going when I want to stop!
I will tell you that before this weekend thanksgiving were just another holiday that was all about food and that in the years past I have been glad when it was all over. Well, this year was different. This year I spent thanksgiving with a whole lot of my family. Family that does not get together usually except for Christmas and a Fourth of July party. I can't remember how many exactly there was, I think possibly 32 of us. My mom cooked a giant size meal. At first I was really dreading having to be with my family. I love them to death, but since my grandfather's death I really have a hard time being around them all and frankly, it makes me sad when I know he won't be there.
But it was amazing. I had decided to do something different and I had everyone fill out a piece of paper with something or many things that they are thankful for. When they were done, we put it inside of a box, and mixed it up then went around the room and picked one out to read. We all went around the room and each said what the letter wrote. As I said, It was amazing. My family, they are one of a kind. They are irreplaceable and are missed deeply when they are gone.
Therefore, what am I thankful for this year:
Family
Love
Friends
Shoulders to cry on Health
Times with Pappa
Kindness
Kingston
New members of the family
Time
New Beginnings
Good Times
The memories of the past; the hope for the Future
Paved roads, dirt roads, uneven roads, and ruts- for they make you what you are
Blue skys snowflakes unexpected phone calls hugs and Kisses from Nellie and Bridget
I love yous from my DAD
Never ending support from my mom
The will to forget, the strength to move on, and the stamina to keep going when I want to stop!
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Believing
Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken or rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conductive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. -Buddha
Amazing words. Since my grandfathers’ sudden death, I have been struggling with what I believe and why I believe it. Its not enough for me anymore to just go with the flow. I need more. I need more than what faith has to offer. I need proof, bigger proof that something greater control what is going on out there. Moreover, if that is the case why do SO many bad things happen to SO many good people? I understand that this life is not going to be fair ever, that is just reality. However, when am I going to understand any of this? I do not expect an answer from anyone. I do not believe anymore that people are more than what we see. I would like to be bitter or even angry. I keep thinking that might help take an awful feeling of want away. I want the emptiness to leave. I do not want to feel alone. However, I cannot help thinking that God is not all there is. What am I saying. I have lost faith in everything, everyone. I am afraid I will search for this, higher meaning and never find it.
When I was in 10th grade, I was in a chapel service and Pastor was discussing God and what he had done for all of us. my friend turned to me and said, what if this is all a hoax, what if this is just a story to help us get through hard times and that none of it is true. I could never get that out of my head. Maybe it is just me; maybe I want to analyze it because I can. On the other hand, maybe I do not even dare say it. What if he was right? That is all for now, but I do leave you with these thoughts.
Amazing words. Since my grandfathers’ sudden death, I have been struggling with what I believe and why I believe it. Its not enough for me anymore to just go with the flow. I need more. I need more than what faith has to offer. I need proof, bigger proof that something greater control what is going on out there. Moreover, if that is the case why do SO many bad things happen to SO many good people? I understand that this life is not going to be fair ever, that is just reality. However, when am I going to understand any of this? I do not expect an answer from anyone. I do not believe anymore that people are more than what we see. I would like to be bitter or even angry. I keep thinking that might help take an awful feeling of want away. I want the emptiness to leave. I do not want to feel alone. However, I cannot help thinking that God is not all there is. What am I saying. I have lost faith in everything, everyone. I am afraid I will search for this, higher meaning and never find it.
When I was in 10th grade, I was in a chapel service and Pastor was discussing God and what he had done for all of us. my friend turned to me and said, what if this is all a hoax, what if this is just a story to help us get through hard times and that none of it is true. I could never get that out of my head. Maybe it is just me; maybe I want to analyze it because I can. On the other hand, maybe I do not even dare say it. What if he was right? That is all for now, but I do leave you with these thoughts.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
