it's a phone call....

It's a phone call, it's a conversation traveling thousands of miles connecting two old friends as if they were a block away. It's a kiss from someone special to start your day. It's about pictures of your past and the places you have been. It's about a sister talking about sheep and how to relate them to your life. It's about moms who care too much and about being thankful for moms who care too much. It's about having long hair to pull back in the summertime. It's about cookouts with friends. It's about friends who are real. It's about forgiveness and it's about moving on. It's about learning new things and riding roller coasters. It's about finding out who you truly are and what you love. It's your favorite pair of flip-flops, it's about a guy and a girl meeting for the first time. It's about change, it's about summer, fall, winter and spring. It's about friends but mostly about the love you choose to share.
It's a page turning in your favorite book, its about the smile on your nieces faces every time you see them, it's about the love and beauty of nature. It's about wondering about the future, it's about knowing what you believe and believing in what you love. It's about risk. It's about friendship, it's about death and dying, heaven and hell, and you and me. It's about traditions passed down from generation to generation. It's about realizing your potential. It's about not being in control, knowing when to speak and knowing when words will never be enough. It's about changing your perspective. It's about loving your mom and dad and knowing that no other human beings will protect or defend you like your family will. It's about angels and finding your place. It's about making peace with you past, your present and your future.

***so I wrote this about my life a couple of years ago, when i first met the love of my life. It's true, the part about "people change you". Not in a way that most people think. There is so much to life I cannot imagine one lifetime being enough to truly live it out. But alas, that is what we are given.

A couple updates: House to be completed the middle of December. How will I ever pack everything???? or unpack everything??? Pregnant? YES YES YES! No pictures yet, but another post on it, stay tuned. Rowen walking. AHAHAHA....the mama is going crazy with this one.

All in all, we are well.

The Insanity....

Ugg...

I feel...*insert emotion here*. We got our new bed last week (hurray!) and the three of us fit, if need be. Things have been rough here and I almost hate talking about it *err writing about it*, but I have realize lately that writing is such good therapy for me. My biggest pet peeve: people who tell you how and what you should do with you life! Give me a freakin' break. Try living your own life. *ok i'm done*

Thoughts going through my head right now: *I make a mean wrap*. I tried to copy this wrap I had at RED ROBIN awhile ago and it turned out really well. It was juicy and delicious! In a tomato basil shell I wrapped chick marinated in greek dressing. Then you add some mustard powder (just a little...that stuff is HOTT). Add a little lettuce, cheese and ranch dressing and WA-LA! You're done!

::::::::::::::thats all for now.

wedding. wedding. photography business.

So I was never really great at making up a good title. To be honest, today that is the best I can do. Lots of new and exciting things going on in the HERB world. Nate & Amanda(brother & sister-in-law) got married on 9/4/09. Very exciting and very pretty. As you can see from the photos below it was a beautiful day! Amanda and her father walking down the isle.

Greg and Rowen looking their best. Greg was the best
man and Rowen was pretty darn cute that day.

Grandma & Grandpa love their little 'Rowen'.
( Greg's parents)

Greg and the Groom, Nathan. Sharp looking boys.

This was where the wedding took place.
This is the reheasal. It was beautiful both days.

* in other news, Rowen Photography was born this week. i am not sure where it will take me but i am so excited about this new adventure. it will allow me to being doing what i love to do as well as stay at home with Rowen. i am excited and scared. i have never done something so daring. although, my mother would say otherwise. this morning i created somewhat of a website on FACEBOOK. it is simple called Rowen Photography. right now everything i am going to do for people will be FREE. yes, you heard it correctly. until i have created a bigger portfolio i feel like i cannot really charge anything yet.

* either way it will be fun. so check me out or i should say the photography. let me know if you are interested in any type of sessions. you can leave comments here. I check this everyday. if not you can email me: brownwynherb@gmail.com. love to here from you.

Today

So today I was going through some old books of mine and found something from at least 10 years ago. It was a book of peoms and quotes that I had apparently gathered over the years. It was intersting to find and some of them are really good. I thought maybe others would enjoy them as well so I am going to put them in here...I promise to write small( did i just really type that). I mean that I will TYPE small. Started a new book and who knows if I will ever finish but it's call " The Shack", a friend told me about it at least 6 months ago and it has literally taken me this long to get it. My procrastination will be the death of me.

* Favorites: 'The trail compels you to know yourself and to be yourself and puts you in harmony with the universe. It makes you glad to be living. It gives you health, hope, courage and extends that touch of nature which tends to make you kind' - Enos Mills

'The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more but have less, we buy more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more convenience but less time. we have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge but less judgment, more experts yet more problems, more medicine but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend to recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray to seldom. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love to seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things but not better things. We've cleaned up the air but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom but not our prejudice. We write more but learn less. We plan more but accomplish less. We've learned to rush but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men but small character, steep profits and shallow realtionships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away-morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight or to just hit delete. * I want to say that George Carlin wrote this when his wife died. It was a forward my grandmother sent to me.

'I love you, my brother, whoever you are- whether you worship in your church, kneel in your temple, or pray in your mosque. You and I are all children of one faith, for the diverse paths of religion are fingers od the loving hand of one Supreme Being, a hand extended to all, offereing completeness of spirit to all, eager to recieve all' -Kahlil Gibran

*** Thats all for now. Headed out to the BIG wedding this weekend. ***

Little Rowen and Life's Little Messes.

This is the princess I live with. Her cousins Nellie and MaryBridget made the crown for her for Christmas. She is so lucky that she has cousins who who understand her true nature. I was so surprised that she actually wore the crown...she usually won't wear anything on her head long.

This is my dear Rowen questioning me. I thought she might like applesause, but she gave me this look instead.

And this......is crazy Rowen. Not sure how i captured this but it makes me laugh every time i see it. I feel like she is saying ' I AM YOUR QUEEN IF YOU DO NOT LISTEN TO ME....I WILL EAT YOU'.....crazy kid.

*it's been a good couple of days. greg seems better but that may all be relative. there is a brothers wedding coming up on friday. how very exciting. we are so happy for them. greg has his best man speech all prepared and its very good. knowing myself, i'll probably cry.

so i am packed. yah! an accomplishment. i am pretty sure i will repack too. its my nature. rowen is sleeping soundly which is rare these days. there are so many things i could be doing this very second but this writing is such good therapy for me i can't seem to stop.

*i almost sold the dog yesterday. i came home from dropping off some baby clothes and i think i may have only been gone an hour or so and when i walked through the door a stench that made me gag filled the room. YUK. YUK. YUK. he had pooped in his cage again. i threw the cage outside, the dog went into the bathroom and i immediately had to spray the house, open all the windows and refrain from screaming all the bad words i knew. you know i wanted so bad too. rowen squealed. but alas, i didn't sell the dog or kill him. again, yah for me. in all honesty, my life is nothing of how i pictured it. and it's a bit of a love/hate relationship right now. right now i am looking into some art classes for rowen and i to do together. we'll see how that turns out. for some reason, right now, the dog has forgotten he and i do not get alone. ( he is curled up beside me)

*i am excited for my bed to arrive. sick of waking up more tired then when i went to bed. sick of sharing a queen size bed with two bed hogs! ( miss rowen and her daddy)

let the rain come down.

Dear God,
Where are you? When you get a chance, please give me a call.

Thanks,
Brownwyn


* i feel like i am falling a part a bit by bit. but i am suer it will get better, right? sometimes i don't feel like a realist at all. sometimes i feel like i don't know anything. rowen is crawling all over the place and falling. just today though, she started pointing at things. i'm tired. very tired. but i guess sometimes that just doesn't matter. there is still some tension around this little place. i'm not sure when it will subside but i'll wait it out.*

* i am in a funny place. a place where i don't know how to fit. i'd always thought i would have kids. i knew i would. i guess i never thought much past that. i didn't see myself staying home and i am not sure why i never saw that but i saw myself helping people. it's an odd thing, ya know, spending your early years 'finding your way' and then to have found it... only to have to reevalute once again....looking for a new way to be...YOU.

*I am changing. I am becoming the person I want to be. fun times ahead.

Everwood

It's an 'Everwood' fest at the Herb Household. Greg is addicted...finally. Season 2 started tonight, right after little Rowe, Rowe went to bed. Some of my favorite quotes from Everwood....

'The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw, my inability to change. I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... It feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... Who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... Except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again.' -Ephram

...'We were like Mike and Scottie....only shorter and whiter.'- Bright

Thats all I have for tonight. Its been a long couple of days. Greg a little down so I have been picking up some of the pieces. We did a little birthday shopping for Rowen this afternoon and I am excited for her to open some of her presents. More to come later.....